cнloe "тнe deтecтιve" decĸer (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thevulnerability) wrote2017-05-22 12:01 am
thevulnerability) wrote2017-05-22 12:01 am
ic contact for entranceway;
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[ he hasn't been avoiding the beautiful and enigmatic detective purposefully or pointedly. truth be told he's spent these long weeks avoiding the particulars of last month's events, or rather the feelings associated with them. all besides the usefulness of rage, of course. that he's channelled into the productiveness of preparing for and waging war.
he's at lux tonight in search of lucifer; half-business, half-pleasure. the devil's never been particularly reliable about answering his phone and he could use the change of setting and perhaps a drink. klaus stops, however, at the sight of the blonde at the end of the bar.
he stops, and hesitates. (it wasn't his fault. he still ripped apart the man she loves right in front of her. he still demonstrated with blood and viciousness the monster he is.
what will she see of him now? not the father she knew.)
klaus' jaw works. he glances down and fights through his foolishness, through caring at all. despite it, there are still hints of that hidden vulnerability about him as he follows through with his decision and approaches her, stopping a few stools away. (she makes monsters vulnerable, indeed.) ] Waiting for Lucifer?
he's at lux tonight in search of lucifer; half-business, half-pleasure. the devil's never been particularly reliable about answering his phone and he could use the change of setting and perhaps a drink. klaus stops, however, at the sight of the blonde at the end of the bar.
he stops, and hesitates. (it wasn't his fault. he still ripped apart the man she loves right in front of her. he still demonstrated with blood and viciousness the monster he is.
what will she see of him now? not the father she knew.)
klaus' jaw works. he glances down and fights through his foolishness, through caring at all. despite it, there are still hints of that hidden vulnerability about him as he follows through with his decision and approaches her, stopping a few stools away. (she makes monsters vulnerable, indeed.) ] Waiting for Lucifer?
Edited 2017-06-16 01:39 (UTC)
[ Chloe spends more time at Deux Lux than she will ever admit. She didn't want to; if anything, she wants to be away from him, from the emotions she feels around him that make her stomach twist and her brow furrow and sometimes just makes her angry. When she arrived in Wonderland, she had every intention of spending as little time as she deemed necessary to fake her way through a friendship with Lucifer. Just long enough to get home and forget all about this place.
Almost losing him threw a wrench in those plans. Less of a wrench and more of a full-fledged power tool.
Everyone else, well, that is another story. She is still struggling with the reality of the rest of it, and mental gymnastics required to keep denying what she has seen became exhausting. So, it is easier to avoid it, when she can; avoid Freya, avoid Klaus. The former eventually resolved itself, but even after talking to Freya, it didn't become any easier to approach Klaus.
The reason is simple. What Freya's mirror had done to Elena was unforgivable, but it was her mirror, not her. Klaus hadn't been a mirror. Worse, the damage he did almost killed Lucifer. Chloe doesn't have to forgive Freya's mirror. But Klaus... It isn't as a simple as separating a mirror from the Real. ]
Uh. Yeah.
[ She knows she shouldn't be surprised to see him; chances were, when it came to Lucifer, it was water under the bridge. If his relationships with Amenadiel and Maze were any indication, Lucifer has a high level of tolerance when it comes to physical altercations with people he cares about.
That doesn't make it easier for Chloe, though. It didn't make the four showers she had to take to wash Lucifer's blood of her body any easier, either. ]
Sort of. I mostly just wanted a drink. [ She clenches her jaw, turning the scotch glass in front of her in circles on the bar top. ] Did you need to talk to him?
Almost losing him threw a wrench in those plans. Less of a wrench and more of a full-fledged power tool.
Everyone else, well, that is another story. She is still struggling with the reality of the rest of it, and mental gymnastics required to keep denying what she has seen became exhausting. So, it is easier to avoid it, when she can; avoid Freya, avoid Klaus. The former eventually resolved itself, but even after talking to Freya, it didn't become any easier to approach Klaus.
The reason is simple. What Freya's mirror had done to Elena was unforgivable, but it was her mirror, not her. Klaus hadn't been a mirror. Worse, the damage he did almost killed Lucifer. Chloe doesn't have to forgive Freya's mirror. But Klaus... It isn't as a simple as separating a mirror from the Real. ]
Uh. Yeah.
[ She knows she shouldn't be surprised to see him; chances were, when it came to Lucifer, it was water under the bridge. If his relationships with Amenadiel and Maze were any indication, Lucifer has a high level of tolerance when it comes to physical altercations with people he cares about.
That doesn't make it easier for Chloe, though. It didn't make the four showers she had to take to wash Lucifer's blood of her body any easier, either. ]
Sort of. I mostly just wanted a drink. [ She clenches her jaw, turning the scotch glass in front of her in circles on the bar top. ] Did you need to talk to him?
[ she doesn't need to say the words. he sees it, in the tense reception and emanating discomfort that follows, however unintentionally shown. he feels it like ice in his gut, his own jaw clenching in response.
klaus looks to the bar top as well. he looks blindly to his hand resting on it, and worries his lips.
he knows it isn't simple. he's killed like this before: uncontrollable and vicious, leaving nothing but horror and bodies in his wake. there have been many — most of those horrors and bodies — through the centuries he has intended to give and leave. he has relished in that violence. he is perfectly and enthusiastically accustomed to it.
not this.
he had nearly forgotten this.
(he never forgot.)
he knows the horror and helplessness she feels because he feels it himself. he had to clean lucifer's blood off his hands; he had to rinse off the blood of everyone he harmed and remember that powerlessness, that reminder of monstrousness. he can imagine how it felt for her, soaked in the blood of the man she loves, just as powerless. klaus swallows thickly, reaches to take off his jacket, lays in down, and sits a seat away. ] Not particularly. [ true enough. true enough because it's clear who he needs to talk to; who he wants to talk to.
klaus clasps his hands together, weaves his fingers. tightens and loosens his grip, again and again. there are few people. so very few for whom he would feel compelled to struggle and to find these words. perhaps it's because she is a mother, like he is a father. perhaps because despite the fleetingness of their interaction, he valued it like he hadn't valued anything for a long time. perhaps because through lucifer, he feels he can trust her with this vulnerability. (it's simpler, he knows: he sees hers, and he wants to make it right.) ] What I did... [ the words come quietly, after a long moment. soft. slow. rife. he cannot bear to look at her with the roundness of his eyes; his gaze stays on the top of the bar. ] I didn't mean to do, and I promise you... [ he swallows past the lump in his throat. he finds the will to look over towards her. ] I will do everything in my power to protect him.
klaus looks to the bar top as well. he looks blindly to his hand resting on it, and worries his lips.
he knows it isn't simple. he's killed like this before: uncontrollable and vicious, leaving nothing but horror and bodies in his wake. there have been many — most of those horrors and bodies — through the centuries he has intended to give and leave. he has relished in that violence. he is perfectly and enthusiastically accustomed to it.
not this.
he had nearly forgotten this.
(he never forgot.)
he knows the horror and helplessness she feels because he feels it himself. he had to clean lucifer's blood off his hands; he had to rinse off the blood of everyone he harmed and remember that powerlessness, that reminder of monstrousness. he can imagine how it felt for her, soaked in the blood of the man she loves, just as powerless. klaus swallows thickly, reaches to take off his jacket, lays in down, and sits a seat away. ] Not particularly. [ true enough. true enough because it's clear who he needs to talk to; who he wants to talk to.
klaus clasps his hands together, weaves his fingers. tightens and loosens his grip, again and again. there are few people. so very few for whom he would feel compelled to struggle and to find these words. perhaps it's because she is a mother, like he is a father. perhaps because despite the fleetingness of their interaction, he valued it like he hadn't valued anything for a long time. perhaps because through lucifer, he feels he can trust her with this vulnerability. (it's simpler, he knows: he sees hers, and he wants to make it right.) ] What I did... [ the words come quietly, after a long moment. soft. slow. rife. he cannot bear to look at her with the roundness of his eyes; his gaze stays on the top of the bar. ] I didn't mean to do, and I promise you... [ he swallows past the lump in his throat. he finds the will to look over towards her. ] I will do everything in my power to protect him.
Edited 2017-06-22 02:29 (UTC)
[ She presses her eyes shut, unable to look at him. Chloe has been drinking more than her usual amount lately (Why not? It's not like she has a job to worry about, a child to take care of, a life to live). She's not sure if the fog in her head is the alcohol or just a curse of this horrible place, the constant fear that things will just progressively get worse and worse and there is no one to arrest, no one to put on trial, no case to close to make it just go away.
Chloe isn't sure if he came here looking for her, or if it just turned out that way. She should have expected as much - Freya sought her out, too. Two people she barely knows, two people who meant something to Lucifer and thus, through that simple fact, meant something to her, too. They didn't owe her explanations for what happened. And yet, here Klaus was, offering it, unable to meet her eyes for the shame that's clear in his voice. ]
I... [ She doesn't know how to follow it. I know? Maybe, but does she? She would step in front of a bullet for Lucifer, die for him if necessary, and she knows that much. Does she trust his friends here to do the same, after all that has happened? And perhaps, more importantly, could she ever accept any of them if she didn't think they could? ]
I need to understand. [ She finally forces herself to look at him, hoping he will return the courtesy. Chloe knows she could just walk away, just let him know she can't forgive him for what happened and save herself the agony of this conversation.
But she can't. It was never her place to pass judgment, to declare a sentence. Chloe was used to what she knew - the evidence, the motive, the reasons why. More importantly, she can't deny how very alone she was, and what she had shared with Klaus. He understood her, her loss and her grieving, in a way no one else could. She understood him. She doesn't want either of them to feel alone, not here, not in this place that made everyone feel like they had lost everything, one way or another. ]
I just want to know what happened. And why. Why you... Why you couldn't stop it.
Chloe isn't sure if he came here looking for her, or if it just turned out that way. She should have expected as much - Freya sought her out, too. Two people she barely knows, two people who meant something to Lucifer and thus, through that simple fact, meant something to her, too. They didn't owe her explanations for what happened. And yet, here Klaus was, offering it, unable to meet her eyes for the shame that's clear in his voice. ]
I... [ She doesn't know how to follow it. I know? Maybe, but does she? She would step in front of a bullet for Lucifer, die for him if necessary, and she knows that much. Does she trust his friends here to do the same, after all that has happened? And perhaps, more importantly, could she ever accept any of them if she didn't think they could? ]
I need to understand. [ She finally forces herself to look at him, hoping he will return the courtesy. Chloe knows she could just walk away, just let him know she can't forgive him for what happened and save herself the agony of this conversation.
But she can't. It was never her place to pass judgment, to declare a sentence. Chloe was used to what she knew - the evidence, the motive, the reasons why. More importantly, she can't deny how very alone she was, and what she had shared with Klaus. He understood her, her loss and her grieving, in a way no one else could. She understood him. She doesn't want either of them to feel alone, not here, not in this place that made everyone feel like they had lost everything, one way or another. ]
I just want to know what happened. And why. Why you... Why you couldn't stop it.
[ he knows she could just walk away. he knows the ease of that; that welcoming of simplicity and the comfort in doing so. it's easy, not to trust. it's simple, to look at those who have wronged you and condemn them, no matter their motives and in this case lack thereof. it's comforting, to take to the darkness. to what you know. (he has. he certainly has.)
he doesn't believe that is who chloe is. perhaps it would be better, if she was — but standing by his family let alone the devil does not make for the feint at heart.
his eyes alight on hers, a flicker of hope. it fades, because he knows the answers to her question, while as gently dealt as he can, will not inspire confidence nor paint him in a better light. but it will be honest strokes, and klaus has never recoiled from those.
he recognizes why she needs this. he recognizes, despite the courtesy it asks for, that it is also a gesture. a chance. klaus looks away. he begins. ] Where I come from, being a werewolf is a curse. Every full moon and on the days surrounding it, those who have triggered their werewolf gene by killing another... [ he trails off. he knows what this implies about him. he can imagine it's not only he that needs a moment to understand what he is.
and to go on to explain: ] They become monsters. They have no quarter, no control, no compassion. They simply want to hunt. [ like he did that day. like he was. like he can be, even without a spell. ]
I'm not a simple werewolf. My family and I, through the magics of our mother, became something else, to protect us. I, the bastard, learned the day I first killed what that meant.
[ he finds the will to look over at her, his jaw tense, something in his eyes fearful of these truths he does not usually deal with vulnerability. he also knows the weight of what he says, how fantastical it must seem to her. ] Because I'm a hybrid, like my family a vampire and like my father a werewolf, I can control that change. I do not have to suffer. The spell my sister's mirror used, forced me to do so. It took away the consciousness I would have if I chose myself, in order to fulfill her directive.
[ to kill elena. to use him as a distraction. as a weapon. he looks away again. ]
I did fight her. [ but he couldn't — he didn't win. the words are quieter, thin. he cannot linger on that weakness; he injects his voice with a fierceness just as quiet. ] But we were taken by surprise. That will not happen again. [ he means that, his eyes moving to her again. his family is not the type to make the same mistake twice. ]
he doesn't believe that is who chloe is. perhaps it would be better, if she was — but standing by his family let alone the devil does not make for the feint at heart.
his eyes alight on hers, a flicker of hope. it fades, because he knows the answers to her question, while as gently dealt as he can, will not inspire confidence nor paint him in a better light. but it will be honest strokes, and klaus has never recoiled from those.
he recognizes why she needs this. he recognizes, despite the courtesy it asks for, that it is also a gesture. a chance. klaus looks away. he begins. ] Where I come from, being a werewolf is a curse. Every full moon and on the days surrounding it, those who have triggered their werewolf gene by killing another... [ he trails off. he knows what this implies about him. he can imagine it's not only he that needs a moment to understand what he is.
and to go on to explain: ] They become monsters. They have no quarter, no control, no compassion. They simply want to hunt. [ like he did that day. like he was. like he can be, even without a spell. ]
I'm not a simple werewolf. My family and I, through the magics of our mother, became something else, to protect us. I, the bastard, learned the day I first killed what that meant.
[ he finds the will to look over at her, his jaw tense, something in his eyes fearful of these truths he does not usually deal with vulnerability. he also knows the weight of what he says, how fantastical it must seem to her. ] Because I'm a hybrid, like my family a vampire and like my father a werewolf, I can control that change. I do not have to suffer. The spell my sister's mirror used, forced me to do so. It took away the consciousness I would have if I chose myself, in order to fulfill her directive.
[ to kill elena. to use him as a distraction. as a weapon. he looks away again. ]
I did fight her. [ but he couldn't — he didn't win. the words are quieter, thin. he cannot linger on that weakness; he injects his voice with a fierceness just as quiet. ] But we were taken by surprise. That will not happen again. [ he means that, his eyes moving to her again. his family is not the type to make the same mistake twice. ]
[ There would be no way for him to truly understand what all of this means.
Not just the attack. Not just his apology. It's the fact that she believes him, that she has to believe him... That is the hardest part to grasp.
Because if vampires and werewolves and witches are real... Maybe Lucifer is telling the truth. Maybe her world isn't what she thought it was at all.
Chloe manages to bring her attention back to Klaus, watching him look away from her. She feels like she can almost see the persistence in his voice, in the same promise that she had given to Elena when she finally found her after all that had happened.
I won't let this happen again.
Elena must think she's an idiot. Who was she, anyway? A weak cop, a mortal, wrapped up in a group of witches and vampires and werewolves and man who very well might be telling the truth when he says he's the devil himself. She reminds herself that Elena is - supposedly - human, too, but it doesn't help. It just makes her wonder if Elena feels just as useless in all of this as Chloe does. ]
You know, it figures. Ever since I met Lucifer, my entire life has gone off the rails. It makes sense that he would get me involved with some kind of insane vampire conflict. [ Chloe downs the rest of her drink, and this time it's her that can't look at him. What the hell had Lucifer been thinking? If he knew all of this - if he actually understood all of this supernatural nonsense, actually understood that she was a mortal fighting against things she would never be able to match, why wouldn't he warn her, protect her?
There's one of two answers, she figures. Either he is human too and just completely insane... Or he just doesn't care about her at all.
One of those is easier to accept than the other. ]
I'm not going to pretend like I understand anything that's going on. I just watched my partner get torn apart by a wolf who is actually one of my friends, watched a witch break a vampire's neck with magic and then healed Lucifer with a feather I got out of a wardrobe. I get that this is normal for the rest of you, but I feel like I'm losing my mind.
[ Somehow, going crazy seems easier than accepting any of this. ]
How can you know? That it won't happen again? She's obviously a lot stronger than the rest of us and... She killed Elena. [ It's the first time she's said it. The first time she's actually believed it. ] How can any of us stop that from happening again?
Not just the attack. Not just his apology. It's the fact that she believes him, that she has to believe him... That is the hardest part to grasp.
Because if vampires and werewolves and witches are real... Maybe Lucifer is telling the truth. Maybe her world isn't what she thought it was at all.
Chloe manages to bring her attention back to Klaus, watching him look away from her. She feels like she can almost see the persistence in his voice, in the same promise that she had given to Elena when she finally found her after all that had happened.
I won't let this happen again.
Elena must think she's an idiot. Who was she, anyway? A weak cop, a mortal, wrapped up in a group of witches and vampires and werewolves and man who very well might be telling the truth when he says he's the devil himself. She reminds herself that Elena is - supposedly - human, too, but it doesn't help. It just makes her wonder if Elena feels just as useless in all of this as Chloe does. ]
You know, it figures. Ever since I met Lucifer, my entire life has gone off the rails. It makes sense that he would get me involved with some kind of insane vampire conflict. [ Chloe downs the rest of her drink, and this time it's her that can't look at him. What the hell had Lucifer been thinking? If he knew all of this - if he actually understood all of this supernatural nonsense, actually understood that she was a mortal fighting against things she would never be able to match, why wouldn't he warn her, protect her?
There's one of two answers, she figures. Either he is human too and just completely insane... Or he just doesn't care about her at all.
One of those is easier to accept than the other. ]
I'm not going to pretend like I understand anything that's going on. I just watched my partner get torn apart by a wolf who is actually one of my friends, watched a witch break a vampire's neck with magic and then healed Lucifer with a feather I got out of a wardrobe. I get that this is normal for the rest of you, but I feel like I'm losing my mind.
[ Somehow, going crazy seems easier than accepting any of this. ]
How can you know? That it won't happen again? She's obviously a lot stronger than the rest of us and... She killed Elena. [ It's the first time she's said it. The first time she's actually believed it. ] How can any of us stop that from happening again?
[ there is strength in those who do not wield immortal or supernatural powers. there are those whose courage and fight; whose goodness and sense of right and wrong and justice offer more than they might consider worthy, faced with unspeakable odds. these are the things he wishes he could say to her, the words he imagines she might need to hear, hearing the aimless anger and frantic helplessness in her voice.
klaus watches her, lips parting; he grasps the crisis of faith and fear she is having, even if he does not fully understand nor relate. (the only part of it that comforts him, and selfishly so, is that word: "friend." spoken if not with forgiveness than with acknowledgement. with a chance.)
she's smart to ask how. she's right, that freya's mirror is strong: as strong if not stronger than her aunt dahlia. that she needs to be defeated because these atrocities will happen again and again. she did kill elena. she brought that violence upon them with relative ease. she's right, and the truth is he is just as afraid, and he does not know.
not for certain. not yet. but that's not what he believes chloe needs to hear. it's not what he needs to hear, to spawn, to believe. they have faced and fought dangers larger than this. klaus' lips set, as does his expression. his eyes search hers. his words are sure and assuring. ] How we always do: together.
[ he looks down, pulls in a quiet breath to go on. she mentioned their mutual friend, in not-quite flattering terms. he imagines that is partially deserved. both his family and his allies have aided in bringing this all upon her; that is also true. she has a score of reasons to be overwhelmed, to be uncertain, to feel the way she does. ] What Lucifer has done to alter your life, whatever being here has done, [ he looks back up at her ] better or worse, know that he cares about you, and you are not alone. [ he doesn't mean only lucifer. ]
klaus watches her, lips parting; he grasps the crisis of faith and fear she is having, even if he does not fully understand nor relate. (the only part of it that comforts him, and selfishly so, is that word: "friend." spoken if not with forgiveness than with acknowledgement. with a chance.)
she's smart to ask how. she's right, that freya's mirror is strong: as strong if not stronger than her aunt dahlia. that she needs to be defeated because these atrocities will happen again and again. she did kill elena. she brought that violence upon them with relative ease. she's right, and the truth is he is just as afraid, and he does not know.
not for certain. not yet. but that's not what he believes chloe needs to hear. it's not what he needs to hear, to spawn, to believe. they have faced and fought dangers larger than this. klaus' lips set, as does his expression. his eyes search hers. his words are sure and assuring. ] How we always do: together.
[ he looks down, pulls in a quiet breath to go on. she mentioned their mutual friend, in not-quite flattering terms. he imagines that is partially deserved. both his family and his allies have aided in bringing this all upon her; that is also true. she has a score of reasons to be overwhelmed, to be uncertain, to feel the way she does. ] What Lucifer has done to alter your life, whatever being here has done, [ he looks back up at her ] better or worse, know that he cares about you, and you are not alone. [ he doesn't mean only lucifer. ]
[ She glances back up at him, her mouth moving into something between a smile and a grimace. He's handling her with kid gloves, avoiding the real atrocities that lay out in front of them that Chloe can't entirely begin to grasp. Give her a fair fight with a stupid doped up kid or a psychopath and she can handle it with no fear, but that's because she at least has a hope that the blows she throws will land.
But she shot Klaus point blank in the face with a gun and he walked (scampered) away. She tried to take out Freya and ended up unconscious (by some small mercy, why Freya didn't kill her the way she did Damon she'll never know). She wants to think his kumbaya togetherness answer is the real one but Chloe knows the truth.
She always felt like the sexy, sparkly vampire tween trend got it wrong, anyway. Maybe the vampires she knew now weren't the creepy, coffin-sleeping undead of the old days. The fact that they were cute and friendly doesn't make the reality that death follows them around any easier to swallow. ]
Yeah. I guess that does make it easier. [ That's not a complete lie. Even if she does end up being sacrificed by Freya or someone else's entree, it is easier to handle when she knows she'll be missed. And it's less daunting to think about when she's not thinking about it alone. Except... ]
You're wrong about Lucifer, though. He doesn't care about anyone but himself. [ She takes another drink, pulling her eyes away from Klaus. Part of her (most of her) feels bad for throwing him under the bus, but his actions up to this moment have made it more than clear. He threw her into the fray without a second thought. She doesn't want Klaus thinking he can rely on Lucifer.
Chloe wishes someone had warned her. ]
I... I hate to ask this, but you brought it up and I have to know. Killing people... Is that something you make a habit out of?
But she shot Klaus point blank in the face with a gun and he walked (scampered) away. She tried to take out Freya and ended up unconscious (by some small mercy, why Freya didn't kill her the way she did Damon she'll never know). She wants to think his kumbaya togetherness answer is the real one but Chloe knows the truth.
She always felt like the sexy, sparkly vampire tween trend got it wrong, anyway. Maybe the vampires she knew now weren't the creepy, coffin-sleeping undead of the old days. The fact that they were cute and friendly doesn't make the reality that death follows them around any easier to swallow. ]
Yeah. I guess that does make it easier. [ That's not a complete lie. Even if she does end up being sacrificed by Freya or someone else's entree, it is easier to handle when she knows she'll be missed. And it's less daunting to think about when she's not thinking about it alone. Except... ]
You're wrong about Lucifer, though. He doesn't care about anyone but himself. [ She takes another drink, pulling her eyes away from Klaus. Part of her (most of her) feels bad for throwing him under the bus, but his actions up to this moment have made it more than clear. He threw her into the fray without a second thought. She doesn't want Klaus thinking he can rely on Lucifer.
Chloe wishes someone had warned her. ]
I... I hate to ask this, but you brought it up and I have to know. Killing people... Is that something you make a habit out of?
[ the real atrocities have already occurred. she has already witnessed them and no doubt will witness more. he sees no use nor kindness in offering her anything but hope, but fight. perhaps that is handling her with a gentleness he does not extend to others, but it is also a gentleness that precludes inclusion, that precludes an assurance and a determination on his part to keep her safe. not only for lucifer, but because he cares about her — because she has proven herself worthy of that care. (she has value, by virtue of being who she is. she has value to him. she's all but proven herself in friendship.)
klaus knows that does not change the suffering that is yet to come. he knows that those who touch his family's lives will undoubtedly face demons and evils; brutality and cruelty he does not explain, that he does seek to protect her from now. she deserves that respite, however fleeting, after all she's faced. no one ever granted it to him. perhaps if he does not stress these dangers... perhaps they need not come true, not yet.
he pulls in a breath, looks away at her degradation of lucifer, and thirsts for a drink himself. he's no doubt there is a reason she means the words she says, no doubt some egregious wrong and hurt she carries. he will not presume. he will not ask. it is not his place nor does he have the context to do so. but he knows this: this disharmony need be addressed. he knows what he sees; what he hears when he sees them together, and when he talks to lucifer himself. (that is love, and this is an obstacle.) only at her question does he look over to her.
he will not hold back. she has asked for the truth, and he has no hesitation to give it, no matter how it will color her opinion of him. he knows what he is. who he is. ] A thousand years is certainly enough for a habit to make. [ he says it lightly, though the amusement falls flat. he continues, that lightness fading into something grave and sincere. ] I've done what I had to, to protect my family, myself, and my interests. [ he adds the last, because it is true: ] I'm not a good person. [ his eyes finds hers as he says this, rounded and affected, if not remorseful. a lump form in his throat at the thought of his daughter. he swallows past it. ] But I've tried to be. If that's what you're asking.
klaus knows that does not change the suffering that is yet to come. he knows that those who touch his family's lives will undoubtedly face demons and evils; brutality and cruelty he does not explain, that he does seek to protect her from now. she deserves that respite, however fleeting, after all she's faced. no one ever granted it to him. perhaps if he does not stress these dangers... perhaps they need not come true, not yet.
he pulls in a breath, looks away at her degradation of lucifer, and thirsts for a drink himself. he's no doubt there is a reason she means the words she says, no doubt some egregious wrong and hurt she carries. he will not presume. he will not ask. it is not his place nor does he have the context to do so. but he knows this: this disharmony need be addressed. he knows what he sees; what he hears when he sees them together, and when he talks to lucifer himself. (that is love, and this is an obstacle.) only at her question does he look over to her.
he will not hold back. she has asked for the truth, and he has no hesitation to give it, no matter how it will color her opinion of him. he knows what he is. who he is. ] A thousand years is certainly enough for a habit to make. [ he says it lightly, though the amusement falls flat. he continues, that lightness fading into something grave and sincere. ] I've done what I had to, to protect my family, myself, and my interests. [ he adds the last, because it is true: ] I'm not a good person. [ his eyes finds hers as he says this, rounded and affected, if not remorseful. a lump form in his throat at the thought of his daughter. he swallows past it. ] But I've tried to be. If that's what you're asking.
Edited 2017-06-30 23:17 (UTC)
[ Yourself, family. She can understand defense of that, understand violence. Chloe loathes to think of the person she would become if Trixie was harmed, thinks of the lengths she went to in order to rescue her daughter when she was kidnapped; so far as stealing evidence, killing another cop, not matter how corrupt he may have been, to protect Trixie, Lucifer, herself.
Interests she understands less. She has seen every motive under the sun, more shallow than others. Money, jealousy, power - the three most common motives for the kinds of murders she couldn't wrap her mind around. Even she could admit there were times when taking another life was unavoidable; anything else was nothing short of evil, in her experience.
That was before she was put in this position, when everything she understood about reality was turned on its head, when human nature blended into animal nature through an inescapable, unwilling force. But what were humans other than glorified animals? And where did those in-between - the vampires, the werewolves - fit into her well-defined boxes of good versus evil?
It would be something she would have to confront now, she supposed, in the face of someone she called a friend who had turned into something out of a nightmare. It was something she would have to confront if Lucifer was telling the truth. Could she reconcile the very definition of evil with the person she knew, the person who had been her partner for nearly two years?
Were any of their natures an explanation of betrayal, or simply an excuse? ]
I've killed people before too. [ She looks down at her drink. Really, do her choices make her any better than Klaus? At the end of the day, all killing was in the interest of the killer, justified or not. Where she came from, it was only the job of judge or jury to decide how valid those interests were. ] I try to be a good person, but I'm sure the families of the people I've killed would probably disagree.
[ Chloe swirls her drink thoughtfully. ] I think it matters, though. If you try. I think, regardless of your past, who you try to be now makes a difference.
Interests she understands less. She has seen every motive under the sun, more shallow than others. Money, jealousy, power - the three most common motives for the kinds of murders she couldn't wrap her mind around. Even she could admit there were times when taking another life was unavoidable; anything else was nothing short of evil, in her experience.
That was before she was put in this position, when everything she understood about reality was turned on its head, when human nature blended into animal nature through an inescapable, unwilling force. But what were humans other than glorified animals? And where did those in-between - the vampires, the werewolves - fit into her well-defined boxes of good versus evil?
It would be something she would have to confront now, she supposed, in the face of someone she called a friend who had turned into something out of a nightmare. It was something she would have to confront if Lucifer was telling the truth. Could she reconcile the very definition of evil with the person she knew, the person who had been her partner for nearly two years?
Were any of their natures an explanation of betrayal, or simply an excuse? ]
I've killed people before too. [ She looks down at her drink. Really, do her choices make her any better than Klaus? At the end of the day, all killing was in the interest of the killer, justified or not. Where she came from, it was only the job of judge or jury to decide how valid those interests were. ] I try to be a good person, but I'm sure the families of the people I've killed would probably disagree.
[ Chloe swirls her drink thoughtfully. ] I think it matters, though. If you try. I think, regardless of your past, who you try to be now makes a difference.
[She's not super close with Lucifer, but Elena is, and it's impossible not to overhear things, especially in the aftermath of the mirrors wrecking havoc through Wonderland.
She knows a little about Chloe, knows she's from the same world as Lucifer, that she tried to help after Klaus did the first bit of his damage. That even after the attack, she still tried to help Elena when Caroline didn't know she needed to.
She should have been there, so to have a relative stranger care meant something to her. Their lives were complicated and it was always hard for people that got sucked into it. In Wonderland, it was that much harder to avoid.
She shows up at her door, knocking lightly, a bottle of red wine held gently in her hands as a sort of peace offering.
Hopefully she'll invite her in, or this could be...awkward.]
She knows a little about Chloe, knows she's from the same world as Lucifer, that she tried to help after Klaus did the first bit of his damage. That even after the attack, she still tried to help Elena when Caroline didn't know she needed to.
She should have been there, so to have a relative stranger care meant something to her. Their lives were complicated and it was always hard for people that got sucked into it. In Wonderland, it was that much harder to avoid.
She shows up at her door, knocking lightly, a bottle of red wine held gently in her hands as a sort of peace offering.
Hopefully she'll invite her in, or this could be...awkward.]
[ Chloe is at her desk, nearly ready to turn in for the night when she hears the knock on her door. She's taken Seth's suggestion under consideration and asked the wardrobe for a journal, making notes at the end of every day. At first, they were disjointed lists of information, eventually turning into stories and memories from home; the kind of things she feared would be robbed from her when the time came.
Coincidentally, tonight, her writings involve the information Freya had given her about vampires and witches. It had been a lot to take in, and she found herself coming back to all the strange information over and over. Thus, the interruption isn't entirely wanted, but she closes the journal and gets up to check the door.
She assumes it is Lucifer, so she is surprised to open the door and find Caroline standing there. She doesn't know the girl well; Elena had mentioned her and Chloe had seen her around the mansion, and she knows they are friends. But finding her standing at her door holding a bottle of wine is unexpected, to say the least. ]
Uh, hi. [ Chloe pauses, glancing at the bottle of wine and back to the young woman holding it. ] Caroline, right? What's going on?
Coincidentally, tonight, her writings involve the information Freya had given her about vampires and witches. It had been a lot to take in, and she found herself coming back to all the strange information over and over. Thus, the interruption isn't entirely wanted, but she closes the journal and gets up to check the door.
She assumes it is Lucifer, so she is surprised to open the door and find Caroline standing there. She doesn't know the girl well; Elena had mentioned her and Chloe had seen her around the mansion, and she knows they are friends. But finding her standing at her door holding a bottle of wine is unexpected, to say the least. ]
Uh, hi. [ Chloe pauses, glancing at the bottle of wine and back to the young woman holding it. ] Caroline, right? What's going on?
Nothing! I just--
[Okay, so that could have come out a little bitter. She sighs, holding out the bottle to her.]
Here, I brought this for you. Not that you can't just get whatever you want out of the closet, but it's the thought that counts, right? [Her lips press together briefly before she finally jumps into the real reason she's here. Which she probably should have done in the first place.] I...heard what you did for Elena. I thought I should come say thank you and, I don't know, actually meet you.
[Being friends with them didn't always come easy, she knew.]
[Okay, so that could have come out a little bitter. She sighs, holding out the bottle to her.]
Here, I brought this for you. Not that you can't just get whatever you want out of the closet, but it's the thought that counts, right? [Her lips press together briefly before she finally jumps into the real reason she's here. Which she probably should have done in the first place.] I...heard what you did for Elena. I thought I should come say thank you and, I don't know, actually meet you.
[Being friends with them didn't always come easy, she knew.]
[ Chloe can't help but breathe a sigh of relief when Caroline reveals what brought her there. At this point, she doesn't put anything past this nightmare mansions, and she didn't realize how concerned she was about someone showing up to tell her something terrible happened to Lucifer or Elena or Seth until that moment.
What she really isn't used to, though, is someone showing up to her door to just... Talk to her. Lucifer, sure, but he had been an anomaly.
Making friends wasn't exactly second nature to Chloe. ]
Uh... It's not a problem, really. She needed help. I'm just sorry I couldn't do more. [ Chloe opens the door a little, finally giving herself a minute to take in the woman in front of her. She looks Elena's age, pretty and probably pretty confident if her showing up at Chloe's door is any indication.
It doesn't take her long to notice the ring, though. Freya's words hadn't been lost on her - she had listened to everything she said carefully, chronicling it in an attempt to keep her and Lucifer safe. She also knew not all vampires were bad... Damon, after all, had died trying to protect Elena. And Caroline and Elena were clearly friends. Still, Chloe's stomach dropped and her eyes hardened as she lifted her gaze up to Caroline's.
Maybe Elena trusted her, but that didn't mean Chloe did. ]
How do you know Elena, exactly?
What she really isn't used to, though, is someone showing up to her door to just... Talk to her. Lucifer, sure, but he had been an anomaly.
Making friends wasn't exactly second nature to Chloe. ]
Uh... It's not a problem, really. She needed help. I'm just sorry I couldn't do more. [ Chloe opens the door a little, finally giving herself a minute to take in the woman in front of her. She looks Elena's age, pretty and probably pretty confident if her showing up at Chloe's door is any indication.
It doesn't take her long to notice the ring, though. Freya's words hadn't been lost on her - she had listened to everything she said carefully, chronicling it in an attempt to keep her and Lucifer safe. She also knew not all vampires were bad... Damon, after all, had died trying to protect Elena. And Caroline and Elena were clearly friends. Still, Chloe's stomach dropped and her eyes hardened as she lifted her gaze up to Caroline's.
Maybe Elena trusted her, but that didn't mean Chloe did. ]
How do you know Elena, exactly?
( elena helps run the youth center, with a strong emphasis on the curated library she personally kicked off. she spends quite a bit of time there, but nothing truly beats wonderland's library. even with all its oddities — how often the shelves move around, how you might not even find the library in the same floor, how certain books will elude you if they're the ones you need the most — there's just something about it. the smell of its books, the ornate wood, the nooks you find.
and elena does have her own little nook. it's where she does much of her research. it's where she writes in her journal when the inspiration strikes. and though she doesn't invite people often to that space, that small corner in the library that's perfect for unwinding, chloe is certainly one of those people.
she understands better than anyone chloe's desire to be useful. elena herself once battled against that feeling: the feeling of being made idle to wonderland's whims, with no real power or autonomy of her own to change anything, do anything, save anyone. it matters.
it's why she waits for chloe in this private little nook, with two cups of coffee and a plate of pastries already at hand. )
and elena does have her own little nook. it's where she does much of her research. it's where she writes in her journal when the inspiration strikes. and though she doesn't invite people often to that space, that small corner in the library that's perfect for unwinding, chloe is certainly one of those people.
she understands better than anyone chloe's desire to be useful. elena herself once battled against that feeling: the feeling of being made idle to wonderland's whims, with no real power or autonomy of her own to change anything, do anything, save anyone. it matters.
it's why she waits for chloe in this private little nook, with two cups of coffee and a plate of pastries already at hand. )
[ Chloe has never thanked Elena in so many words, but she is thankful, and she hopes the young woman knows it.
Even after a few months in Wonderland, she is still getting used to the insanity around her, the adjustments that she has to make to not just her personality but her worldview in an attempt to accommodate what she has now seen with her own eyes. It often makes her feel helpless and alone and sad and frustrated; but through it all, it is also often amazing, and there is a part of her that can't completely hate the magic of Wonderland or the friendships that have blossomed because of it.
When she slips into the nook, Elena is already there with their coffee and breakfast, and Chloe sighs thankfully as she drops into a chair near the other woman. ]
You're a lifesaver. I feel like I haven't slept in a week. [ It's possible she hasn't, not properly anyway. ] How are you?
Even after a few months in Wonderland, she is still getting used to the insanity around her, the adjustments that she has to make to not just her personality but her worldview in an attempt to accommodate what she has now seen with her own eyes. It often makes her feel helpless and alone and sad and frustrated; but through it all, it is also often amazing, and there is a part of her that can't completely hate the magic of Wonderland or the friendships that have blossomed because of it.
When she slips into the nook, Elena is already there with their coffee and breakfast, and Chloe sighs thankfully as she drops into a chair near the other woman. ]
You're a lifesaver. I feel like I haven't slept in a week. [ It's possible she hasn't, not properly anyway. ] How are you?
Yeah. Me too.
[She'd been helping someone else, the person that Elena had called to warn her about. She probably wanted Caroline to stay away, to not get hurt, but she'd had to try and help. For Klaus and his victims.
She saved some people that day, but not everyone.
She doesn't notice the change in Chloe's demeanor at the sight of her ring; she doesn't know her well enough for that. She does hear the change in her heartbeat, though.
She might already know what she is, she wouldn't be shocked since she's in their circle.
Caroline wouldn't blame her.]
She's been my best friend since we were super little. We grew up together.
[She'd been helping someone else, the person that Elena had called to warn her about. She probably wanted Caroline to stay away, to not get hurt, but she'd had to try and help. For Klaus and his victims.
She saved some people that day, but not everyone.
She doesn't notice the change in Chloe's demeanor at the sight of her ring; she doesn't know her well enough for that. She does hear the change in her heartbeat, though.
She might already know what she is, she wouldn't be shocked since she's in their circle.
Caroline wouldn't blame her.]
She's been my best friend since we were super little. We grew up together.
Oh, right.
[ Childhood friends. That would explain why she was close to Elena. She is curious as to how Elena managed to collect vampires like some people coins. Or maybe vampires just beget other vampires, which doesn't exactly make Chloe feel great about being wrapped up in the lot of them.
But she is already part of it, already in over her head. The only thing she can do from now on is to be careful. ]
I didn't realize you've known her that long. She must really appreciate you being here. [ Chloe pauses, taking in another breath. No point in being coy about it. ] I'm sure you understand why I'm not rushing to let you in, though.
[ Childhood friends. That would explain why she was close to Elena. She is curious as to how Elena managed to collect vampires like some people coins. Or maybe vampires just beget other vampires, which doesn't exactly make Chloe feel great about being wrapped up in the lot of them.
But she is already part of it, already in over her head. The only thing she can do from now on is to be careful. ]
I didn't realize you've known her that long. She must really appreciate you being here. [ Chloe pauses, taking in another breath. No point in being coy about it. ] I'm sure you understand why I'm not rushing to let you in, though.
[Childhood friends in one of those small towns where everyone knew everyone.
Also, a small town that historically had a vampire problem.
Well, that clinches that. She definitely knows. Her expression turns sheepish as she rocks back on her heels once.]
No, yeah, I get it. I didn't know if you knew or not. [Her lips press together almost anxiously. It's something she usually keeps a secret.] Most people don't since there's...hunters around and stuff. Some of them don't care if you're drinking from a bag or a person. They just label you a monster and call it a day.
Also, a small town that historically had a vampire problem.
Well, that clinches that. She definitely knows. Her expression turns sheepish as she rocks back on her heels once.]
No, yeah, I get it. I didn't know if you knew or not. [Her lips press together almost anxiously. It's something she usually keeps a secret.] Most people don't since there's...hunters around and stuff. Some of them don't care if you're drinking from a bag or a person. They just label you a monster and call it a day.
I've seen... enough to get the message. Freya filled me in after that.
[ Thankfully. It was nice to get some perspective, especially from someone who knew a lot more than Lucifer did. At least Chloe wasn't completely blind anymore, what with some background and a little vervain handy. ]
I know Damon. And I trust Elena. I'm not going to hurt you or rat you out, I can promise. [ Chloe glanced into her apartment, sighing. ] For now, you wanna go sit somewhere a little more... neutral, I guess? We can talk.
[ Thankfully. It was nice to get some perspective, especially from someone who knew a lot more than Lucifer did. At least Chloe wasn't completely blind anymore, what with some background and a little vervain handy. ]
I know Damon. And I trust Elena. I'm not going to hurt you or rat you out, I can promise. [ Chloe glanced into her apartment, sighing. ] For now, you wanna go sit somewhere a little more... neutral, I guess? We can talk.
[She looks a little surprised at that. Maybe she shouldn't have been, though, considering who her friends are.]
Oh. [A beat.] I live with her, actually. Well, kind of. I live with her brother and they have a common area so, sort of?
[She realizes she's rambling. The people that she knows here from home are all interconnected a little too tightly, sometimes. She ends up shaking her head, grinning.] No, I didn't think you were going to do anything like that. [She hooks a thumb over her shoulder, eyebrows lifting.] We could go down to this floor's tea room, if that works?
Oh. [A beat.] I live with her, actually. Well, kind of. I live with her brother and they have a common area so, sort of?
[She realizes she's rambling. The people that she knows here from home are all interconnected a little too tightly, sometimes. She ends up shaking her head, grinning.] No, I didn't think you were going to do anything like that. [She hooks a thumb over her shoulder, eyebrows lifting.] We could go down to this floor's tea room, if that works?
That sounds great.
[ Already wearing her vervain, all Chloe had to do was grab her key and slip out the door. She tried to lower her guard a little, remembering that this was a friend of Elena's. If she were a danger, Chloe was sure Elena would have warned her.
Granted, no one had warned her about Klaus. But that was unexpected. Besides, at that point, Chloe would have never believed them. ]
I appreciate you coming by. After what happened, it's nice to talk to a... Well, people who can kind of help me understand what happened. [ She takes a breath, pausing before she offers Caroline an apologetic smile. ] You live with Klaus?
[ Already wearing her vervain, all Chloe had to do was grab her key and slip out the door. She tried to lower her guard a little, remembering that this was a friend of Elena's. If she were a danger, Chloe was sure Elena would have warned her.
Granted, no one had warned her about Klaus. But that was unexpected. Besides, at that point, Chloe would have never believed them. ]
I appreciate you coming by. After what happened, it's nice to talk to a... Well, people who can kind of help me understand what happened. [ She takes a breath, pausing before she offers Caroline an apologetic smile. ] You live with Klaus?
[She grins over at her as they start to walk down the hall.]
I wasn't sure you'd want me to, so I'm glad I did it anyway. And you can say the word, you know. It's not like I'm gonna be offended. I'm totally okay with answering questions, too.
[She spins her daylight ring idly with one finger as she looks away at the mention of his name. She knows what happened with that whole mess, even if she wasn't there. Enough to be glad that she isn't just hating her on principal.]
Um, yeah, only since right after the mirrors crossed over.
I wasn't sure you'd want me to, so I'm glad I did it anyway. And you can say the word, you know. It's not like I'm gonna be offended. I'm totally okay with answering questions, too.
[She spins her daylight ring idly with one finger as she looks away at the mention of his name. She knows what happened with that whole mess, even if she wasn't there. Enough to be glad that she isn't just hating her on principal.]
Um, yeah, only since right after the mirrors crossed over.
( elena's smile widens in greeting.
she'd wave off the gratitude if she didn't know just how rough chloe's introduction to wonderland has been. something as normal as having breakfast in a library probably does feel life-saving. ) I'm doing better. Getting back into the grind of things has helped.
( it's an honest answer, as honest as elena gets. she may no longer be the gloomy graveyard girl, but it's still second nature to say she's fine whether she is or she isn't. because she needs to believe that: that she will be fine, that she will survive all this, that when tomorrow comes she will want to greet it. )
But something tells me I should be asking you that question. ( elena wants to know how chloe is doing, as well. )
she'd wave off the gratitude if she didn't know just how rough chloe's introduction to wonderland has been. something as normal as having breakfast in a library probably does feel life-saving. ) I'm doing better. Getting back into the grind of things has helped.
( it's an honest answer, as honest as elena gets. she may no longer be the gloomy graveyard girl, but it's still second nature to say she's fine whether she is or she isn't. because she needs to believe that: that she will be fine, that she will survive all this, that when tomorrow comes she will want to greet it. )
But something tells me I should be asking you that question. ( elena wants to know how chloe is doing, as well. )
[ Chloe knows what it's like to say you're fine when you're not. She did a lot of that after her dad died; grief is one of those things that is impossible to carry on your own and even more impossible to hoist on someone else for help.
She can't imagine processing the fallout of your own death is any easier, considering how hard of a time Chloe has been having with what happened and she made it out barely scathed, compared to Lucifer, Elena, Damon, or even Klaus. ]
I'm fine.
[ Game on, Elena.
She grabs one of the pastries off of the plate and pokes at it unconsciously, trying to assemble something that sounded like a convincing, coherent thought while not betraying how hard this continues to be for her. ]
I had a talk with Freya. [ Chloe sets the pastry down again, lifting a locket out the inside of her shirt where she now kept the vervain Freya had given her. ] Got a few Vampire 101 tips.
She can't imagine processing the fallout of your own death is any easier, considering how hard of a time Chloe has been having with what happened and she made it out barely scathed, compared to Lucifer, Elena, Damon, or even Klaus. ]
I'm fine.
[ Game on, Elena.
She grabs one of the pastries off of the plate and pokes at it unconsciously, trying to assemble something that sounded like a convincing, coherent thought while not betraying how hard this continues to be for her. ]
I had a talk with Freya. [ Chloe sets the pastry down again, lifting a locket out the inside of her shirt where she now kept the vervain Freya had given her. ] Got a few Vampire 101 tips.
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